After an extended intake I will work in sessions of 1,5-2 hours online or in-person.

Many people do not realise the power of Couples/partner sessions. It can be more powerful than two separate therapeutic processes and also very beneficial for individual struggles worked through in a couplehood. The same goes for other relations like parent-child or teacher-student, or siblings and friends who encounter limiting patterns and seek to find out why.

Working in the Imago Therapy style I never place myself in the seat of the knower/advisor but try being ultimately sensitive to what needs to unfold. Both partners know infinitely more about the history of their relationship and their patterns. I place both persons facing each other and first train them to become neurologically accustomed to looking the other in the eyes freely and to sending, receiving and mirroring each other. Then the deepening in which both learn to ‘cross the bridge’ to experience the other and often feel a surprising amount of emotion and insight learning about ‘why’ someone built certain responses. There is a slowing down of triggering conversations that at first seems very unnatural and irritating even, but then starts to show the real underlying layers of emotional response and of the need for attachment or distancing.

As a therapist I support by clearly holding space for both partners or relations, and for the relationship between…the space created by both. I whisper ‘sentence starters’ to each person at times to keep direction and I can offer more complex structures working towards experiments with new behavior at home. It is sometimes hard work to maintain an even attention for ‘turtles and chimps’ as we call the opposites attract-theme played out. But it is so rewarding to build inner trust that we seek these struggles, these triggers to heal from them. The only absolute 2 things necessary in a relationship are safety and connection. Only when there is violence do I step into a role as advisor and recommend distance (for a period). And when there is no connection it soon plays out. But every other quality, need, preference, difference can exist within a relationship and become balanced.